Grieving a loved one’s death is never easy, as I learned 20 months ago when my husband Jim passed away.
My biggest challenge was managing my publishing business alone. Jim retired several years earlier, but he was my business partner for more than two decades.
My focus was off, my employees unsure how to deal with me. No one wanted to deliver bad news. I struggled with decisions. It took time, but we all adjusted.
During that time, a friend gave me “Leading Through Loss,” a book by local author Margo Fowkes. I read several books on grief, but this was different. It focused on how to support an employee who loses a loved one.
Fowkes knows about grief. Her son Jimmy died of cancer in 2014. He was 21.
“Our family went through an eight-year journey battling his cancer, which was diagnosed at age 13,” Fowkes says. “Both my husband and I struggled with our careers as we juggled work and the time needed for our family.”
The book provides guidance for leaders on what to do when a grieving employee returns to work. “I wanted it to be practical and user-friendly,” Fowkes says.
Researching the book, she spoke with executives and managers locally, nationally and internationally for perspective.
“Leaders often believe that they should know what to do and how to make it better for a bereaved employee who’s coming back to work,” she says. “Instead, they need to allow themselves to be guided by what their employee says they need, because everyone’s grief is different.”
The book addresses how to handle grief while teleworking, and what to do if you are grieving. Appendixes offer resources, a sample bereavement policy and what a workplace grief support group looks like.
Fowkes continues to interact with workforce leaders through her management consultancy, OnTarget Consulting.
Woven into the book are stories about people who returned to work after a death. Some experiences were positive, others not so much. The stories prompted Fowkes to write the book.
“What I kept hearing was, ‘I went back to work and the silence was deafening,’” she says. “Most feel ignoring the situation is not helpful at all, and even hurtful.
“I wanted to write something that was broader and richer than just my own experience. I drew upon the experiences of 25 different people in a lot of different industries and with a lot of different losses.”
She continues, “Of people who have lost loved ones, probably 80% are working. Only retired and elderly folks would be exempt from this situation.”
She calls the book “a path forward during an experience that no one ever wants to go through.”
In 2016, Fowkes started Salt Water (findyourharbor.com), an online community for people dealing with grief and loss.
“So much of it is simply saying, ‘I am so sorry this has happened to you,’” she says. “The hard part is that you are talking to someone whose life has shattered.
“Salt Water is for those who have lost someone they can’t live without—a child, sibling, a spouse, parent, close friend—and the people who love them. We provide a safe harbor where you can find comfort support, and tools to survive your loss and rebuild your life.”
“Leading Through Loss” is published by Find Your Harbor Press and is available from Amazon and other booksellers.
Cecily Hastings can be reached at publisher@insidepublications.com. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram: @insidesacramento.
