Seven years ago, I planned a special cruise ship dinner during which I’d tell my wife I was retiring from the Air Force.

I enlisted a photographer to record her tears of joy when I surprised her with my retirement orders. I wrote about that touching moment in 2014, but I left out the sweetest part—when I asked Becky onto the dance floor.

Before the quarantine, I often traveled the country, speaking before church and civic groups. After I spoke, I hosted question-and-answer sessions.

I’ve not yet booked post-COVID speaking engagements, so I thought this column would be a good place to share the answers to some frequently asked questions.

People don’t always get my sense of humor. Unfortunately, my years as a hospital chaplain infected me with a touch of gallows humor, an ironic wit handy for hopeless situations.

Nevertheless, 10 years ago, I took that humor on a 90-day deployment to Panama with the Red Horse Squadron from Nellis Air Force Base, Las Vegas.

Red Horse is the Air Force version of the Navy Seabees (Construction Battalion). Both are trained to bulldoze the ground in warzones while defending the same ground with M16 rifles.

I’m lucky that my wife, Becky, still laughs at the preposterous proposal I made to another woman 42 years ago.

I begin by explaining how, early in our marriage, we routinely substituted Brand X for the real name of any previous relationship. The nickname came from commercials that promised a certain laundry soap was new and improved and would produce sparkly clean results—far superior to Brand X.