Headed to the airport to drop off my wife Becky, a question popped into my head.
“Why did God have to make his Ten Commandments so negative?” I asked.
“Pardon me?” she replied.
My non sequiturs confuse many people. Becky usually plays along.
“When we were raising kids, you taught me to use affirming directions rather than negative ones,” I said. “For example, you suggested I not say, ‘Don’t run,’ but instead say, ‘Please walk.’”
Becky seemed pleased I remembered her advice. Then I rephrased my original question. I said, “God should have been more affirming with his commandments.”
“You think you can do better?” she asked.
“Maybe. I’ll write a positive list and ask my readers what they think.”
With Becky gone for a week, I had time to work on the list. The goal was a new Ten Commandments, short and easy for all faiths to understand and follow.
“You shall have no other gods before Me.”
In my version, God would say, “I’m the only one.” The declaration worked well in “Winnie the Pooh,” when Tigger says, “The wonderful thing about Tiggers is I’m the only one.”
“You shall make no idols.”
A more optimistic rewrite for God’s idea to discourage theological adultery might be, “Stay focused on Me.”
“You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.”
That’s an easy paraphrase: “I’m God, not Santa.” The original intent wasn’t to forbid swearing but to dissuade folks who vainly used God’s name to force him to grant their whims.
“Keep the Sabbath day holy.”
The original is positively worded. But I think God would be OK to add, “Find holiness in all your days.”
“Honor your father and your mother.”
That’s sufficiently upbeat. No need to add, “And pay for your parents’ cruise.”
“You shall not murder.”
I prefer, “Make life matter.” Respect each life as if it were all lives. And respect all life as if it were one life.
“You shall not commit adultery.”
I’d go with the Shania Twain song, “Dance With the One That Brought You.” I can almost hear God humming along with the lyrics, “Don’t let the green grass fool you. Don’t let the moon get to you. Dance with the one that brought you and you can’t go wrong.”
“You shall not steal.”
A better approach might be, “Give with all your heart to those in need.”
“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.”
This one’s about telling the truth, so how about, “Find truth and nurture it.” And share it with the powerful and the powerless.
“You shall not covet.”
Here the positive alternative might be, “Yearn for all things that will help others.” Or desire only that which helps your partner, family, neighbor and world.
I emailed Becky my Ten Commandments column outline. She didn’t respond until I picked her up at the airport.
“How was your flight?” I asked.
“Good,” she said, “but I’m not sure that column is going to fly with your readers.”
“What makes you say that?” I asked.
She smiled and answered, “As usual, when you are quoting me, you often break the ‘false witness’ commandment.”
I said, “I prefer the more positive way to describe those quotes: Creative attribution.”
Becky had the final word. It was negative.
“I’m really not sure I should be leaving you alone again.”
Norris Burkes can be reached at comment@thechaplain.net. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram: @insidesacramento. Burkes is available for public speaking at civic organizations, places of worship, veterans groups and more. For details and fees, visit thechaplain.net.
