Bad Company

Those negative vibes may lead to virtues

By Dr. Justin Altschuler
March 2026

Positive influences matter for all kinds of reasons, and many of us put effort into cultivating them. But not everyone in our life is a great role model.

Family members, coworkers, neighbors, people in our social circle—there are always a few whose choices and patterns make you think, yikes, not good.

These people can be surprisingly helpful to us too, but in a different way. Call it the negative example.

For every person we look up to for her patience, courage or warmth, there’s someone whose greed, pettiness or misaligned priorities show us what to avoid.

While our instinct is to turn away, there’s value in paying attention to these examples. Not to emulate them, not to judge them, but to learn from the consequences.

Virtues such as generosity or wisdom contribute to a well-functioning society, but they also tend to produce a good life. This isn’t a moral claim. It’s an observable phenomenon. It’s hard to be surrounded by caring, loving people when we’re not caring ourselves.

Generosity attracts generosity. Greed attracts greed. While society benefits when we act with principle, the individual often benefits even more. Life built on virtue ages well. Life built on vice rarely does. Most people who are angry all the time don’t end up in a good place.

Thus, negative role models become cautionary tales. We might know someone obsessed with money who accumulated plenty of it, but whose fixation cost them connection and companionship. Or someone who refuses to listen—so certain, so defensive—that their world gets smaller every year.

These examples show us where unexamined tendencies can lead. The point isn’t to gloat or to point fingers, but to understand how certain paths reliably unfold. They create an anti-road map: not what to do, what to steer clear of.

If we want to make this practical, we can look at someone in our life who doesn’t have it good, someone isolated, overwhelmed or repeatedly making the same avoidable mistakes. Then we ask: What is this person like? Does he listen? Is she generous? Does he accept help? Does she soften when people reach out? These questions illuminate patterns we might otherwise overlook.

When we study these negative examples, something else becomes clear. They sharpen the outlines of the positive models we admire. One shows us what to move toward. The other shows us what to move away from.

Positive models give us direction. Negative models give us boundaries. Together, they give a fuller map.

When we sit with this long enough, the lens inevitably turns back toward us and often leads to discomfort. After all, none of us are loving, kind, generous or wise all the time.

We start asking harder questions: Are we inching toward patterns that end badly? Are we becoming a smaller, more reactive version of ourselves without realizing it? Noticing and moving toward that discomfort, that’s the goal.

None of us intend to become cautionary tales, but all of us carry tendencies that, if left alone, can take us places we don’t want to go. Negative examples help us notice these early signals and correct course. We just need the courage to honestly look inward.

There’s emotional complexity in this process. It can feel uncomfortable to examine someone else’s life. We might worry about being judgmental. We risk looking down on people who are not doing well.

Through all of this, it helps to remember that the people who become negative examples are rarely villains. They’re often hurting, lost or repeating patterns they never learned how to interrupt.

Observing the consequences of their choices isn’t an invitation to smugness. It’s an invitation to compassion. When we hold clarity and compassion at the same time, we give ourselves the best chance to build a life grounded in intention, shaped by virtues and informed by the full range of human examples around us.

Dr. Justin Altschuler, a physician certified in family practice and addiction at Sequoia MD, can be reached at (916) 668-7164. Follow us on Facebook, X and Instagram: @insidesacramento.