I’m always thinking up ways to help the Kings win. Been trying for 41 years.
Traditional strategies—smart draft picks, wise trades, astute coaching decisions, brilliant front-office moves—are the stuff of fantasy.
Now a new season arrives. Things look worse than ever.
Pat Riley © Gerald T. Coli | Dreamstime.com
Top draft pick Darius Acuff Jr. played like a nervous teen in the Las Vegas summer games (he turns 20 in November). Center Domantas Sabonis drew yawns as trade bait.
As if the Kings don’t suffer enough, the NBA introduced rules to punish teams that lose too often.
The Kings didn’t inspire the new rules. The legislation is aimed at ambitious clubs that lose on purpose to improve their draft position. That’s not the Kings. They’re experts at losing, but never with intent.
The Kings will be collateral damage under the new rules, relegated to lousy draft picks forever.
I forgot another humiliation. Coach Mike Brown spent the summer celebrating his championship with the New York Knicks. His victory came 18 months after getting fired by the Kings.
Which means it’s time for radical thinking. For this we turn to Pat Riley, pro basketball’s Godfather, eternally slick and ruthless at 81, winner of nine NBA titles as a player, coach and team executive, still sharp as president of the Miami Heat.
Riley has an old idea that sounds revolutionary. Dress for success. He believes if someone dresses like a bum, they will be treated like a bum. In time, they will become a bum.
The Kings are NBA bums. Pat Riley offers salvation.
Riley wants pro basketball to turn back the clock to those pre-pandemic days when coaches showed up dressed to kill. Suits and ties. Pressed shirts. Matching socks. Shined shoes.
He tells the New York Times, “I think the audience wants to see somebody on the sidelines who looks like a leader, dresses like a leader, acts like a leader.” Amen.
When Riley worked the sidelines coaching the Lakers, Knicks and Heat, he showed how leadership looks. At least compared to Jerry Reynolds, Garry St. Jean and the other 247 coaches the Kings burned through since 1985.
Riley is 6-foot-4, lean and immaculately coiffed. It helps that he was buddies with a stylish Italian named Giorgio Armani.
Armani designed a suit for Riley called the “Clark Gable.” Several hundred Gables ended up in Pat’s closet. They were his signature.
Few coaches bothered to sartorially compete with Riley. How do you beat Clark Gable? Most settled for rumpled sport jackets.
When the league entered coronavirus lockdowns, coaches—like everyone—went the slippers and pajamas route. NBA leaders adopted “athletic leisure” sideline gear. It stuck.
Now they look like dads on vacation. Not like leaders.
My plan to save the Kings calls for Coach Doug Christie and staff to burn their pajamas and get measured for a Clark Gable. Dress like a leader. Act like a leader. Go full Pat Riley.
Critics may note Kings coaches wore coats and ties for decades without success. But in those days, business attire was standard NBA issue. Riley always stood out. And won.
This season, a bespoke, besuited coaching staff will make a statement.
Armani-clad leadership at Golden 1 Center won’t transform Darius Acuff Jr. into Steph Curry. But if the Kings are going to lose, at least lose with style. La dolce vita.
NOTE: A photo of the Kavanagh’s hurling team in the September editions of Inside should have been credited to Pierre Carrillo.
R.E. Graswich can be reached at regraswich@icloud.com. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram: @insidesacramento.
